Chimera: A Garrus / Shepard Romance

CHAPTER 15: TRUCE

She sank into the other overstuffed chair across from him, tucking a leg under her. Regarding him with a curious gaze, she waited for him to say something. When he didn't, she cleared her throat and called back to the bartender.

"Hey Ted! Can I get a Manhanttan? Straight up…" she looked back at Garrus and huffed out, "make it a double too."

He smirked and let out a snort in disgust, recalling the foul-tasting drink from earlier.

She quirked a brow at him and challenged, "Something wrong with my drink?"

He still said nothing, shaking his head. Even though he and his father never got along, he did manage to learn one thing from him. He learned to listen. It was amazing what people would say in the discomfort of silence. He returned her gaze with an equally guarded look, unwilling to risk saying anything that would make her leave. A million thoughts raced through his head, so many questions he wanted to ask, but he wanted her to start. This wasn't something that could be forced or coerced. He knew this had to be on her terms.

While she waited for Ted to bring her the drink, she contemplated what to say. She knew that her behavior toward Garrus had been extreme, but she hadn't counted on running into him so soon. Thinking that he was on Palaven, she had prayed that he was safe and alive. Meeting him on Menae had caught her completely off-guard and unprepared. Her heart had raced and pounded in her veins, leaving her torn between the impulse to run and the desire to throw her arms around his neck, grateful that he was still alive. She had fiercely pushed down the urge; it was neither the time nor the place. She had gone there to retrieve the Primarch; everything else had to wait.

She couldn't live with herself if he never knew what he had been a part of but she needed time to process everything that had happened to her in the last few months. As she sat only mere feet from him, she knew her time had run out. The memories still so fresh, they wrenched her soul every time they surfaced. Her mind wrestled with what and how much to tell him. She wasn't about to expose everything in this bar. She settled on what to say to buy more time until she could tell him every last detail. She let out a deep sigh as Ted set the drink down on the table between them. Now, this moment, would determine where things between them would go.

"Would ya like anything, pal?" Ted asked, giving the Turian a once-over before returning to the bar.

He shook his head, eyes never leaving Sera. He was more interested in what she had to say than anything else.

"Okay, pal. Just give me a holler if ya change yer mind." Turning to Sera and jerking his head at Turian, "If he gives ya any trouble hun, ya let me know and ole Ted'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Ted but I think I'll be okay," she chuckled lightly, giving the older man a smile.

He grunted in response and walked back to the bar. The human stood behind the bar directly behind Sera, absently wiping an already dry glass, making his point clear. The gesture was not lost on Garrus and he wondered what connection Sera shared with the bartender.

She picked up her glass and took a generous sip, hissing and pursing her lips together. Exhaling sharply, she shook her head free of the bite and set her glass back on the table. Fingers woven together, she laid her hands in her lap. She raised her gaze to meet the one that had once held such tenderness and care. Now, those eyes were guarded, waiting for a long overdue and well-deserved explanation.

"Garrus… I…" she started slowly. "There's so much I want to say. Things have been really… confusing lately," she finished weakly. She looked down at her hands. "I just thought I would have more time…" she trailed off.

"For what?" he asked softly.

His voice sent that familiar chill down her spine, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She felt the hairs on her body rise and the chill of goose bumps spread across her skin. She wasn't cold, no the Manhattan had done its job of providing liquid courage and subsequent warmth. There was something in his voice that made her body react as if to the soft caress of a lover. She exhaled those thoughts, gathering her concentration once more to coherently answer him.

"To process everything, to… figure out a plan," she said softly, meeting his gaze once more. All the emotions she had buried deep in her were beginning to swell to the surface. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out before the control she desperately hung onto gave way to the riptide that threatened to pull her under.

"Everything…" he repeated. "What does that mean? What is everything?" he said gently, trying to tease out whatever she was holding back.  

"I… it's…" She faltered, not really knowing how to explain and reached for the glass, taking a deeper drink. Huffing out a sigh, she sank heavily back into the chair. She put her finger to her mouth and chewed on the nail, thinking about what to say that wouldn't make the situation worse than it already was.

He shifted in his seat as he watched her think. Smiling inwardly, he noticed that she still had the same tick of chewing her fingernails when she was deep in thought. He watched her brow furrow, eyes darting as she pieced all her thoughts together until, finally, a calm resolve washed through her features.

She looked him in the eye. "Garrus, I owe you an apology," she began. "I'm sorry for what happened today. I should have never treated you that way. A lot of things have happened since we last saw each other…" She took a deep breath and continued, "I need some more time to figure things out but I'll explain as soon as I do. In the meantime, we need to get ready for the Reapers. I need to know that you're with me on this, Garrus. So much is depending on us."

He felt his tension ebb as she spoke, accepting her words. The guarded coolness left his eyes, replaced with familiar warmth that crept back in them. He had been prepared for a confrontation, even one where she would walk out on him just like she had twice already. She had done neither. In fact, she had surprised him and done the opposite. Now, he studied her features, thinking of what to say that wouldn't shatter the moment.

He studied her for a moment; choosing his words carefully. "You know I'm with you, Shepard. That will never change no matter what happens. I will always be here for you regardless." He paused, the terseness in his voice coming through. "But you owe me an explanation."

It was almost imperceptible, but he saw her flinch at those last words. She knew he was right. She did owe him an explanation.  In fact, she owed him so much more than that. She wanted to make him believe, make him trust that she would tell him everything. After contemplating what to say for a moment, she decided it wouldn't be fair not to tell him something.

"Liara told me that you sent messages to me," she said uncertainly; his slight nod confirmed it and reassured her to continue sadly, "I never got them."

"I can correct that," he said simply, allowing her to continue. He saw her blink in response and swore her eyes brightened a shade or two.

She felt her heart twitch, unsure if from anxiety or happiness at the prospect of finally receiving the messages. The prospect of reading them made her feel better somehow. Things had been left so incomplete between them when she'd left him on the Citadel. It was bad enough that there hadn't been time to say all the things that she wanted him to know but, even worse, she'd felt hollow not knowing how he felt, if he felt anything at all. Now was her chance to make up for it. If she could successfully open up communication between them, maybe there was still a chance at something. She decided to venture further now that she had regained her confidence.

"Well, I never completed the court martial for what I did to the Batarians…"she started.

"Why not?"

"Well, I blacked out in the middle of it. They couldn't finish it without me," she said plainly.

"What?" he whispered. He felt his heart sink and a cold emptiness take its place. His mind reeled with this new information and wondered if Liara knew anything about it.

"I don't know what happened exactly. That's what I meant when I said I thought I would have more time. That's what I really need right now. I just need you to understand that but I promise you that I will explain everything," she said, wanting him to accept the little information that she offered.

He sighed heavily, wanting to accept her promise. Shepard always kept her promises. He never doubted her but he wanted her to explain everything now.

"What do you mean you don't know exactly what happened?" This new piece of information troubled him. He wanted to let her take her time but this revelation was too much for him to let go.

"What I remember was a blur. It happened so quickly. One minute I was explaining what happened and why I had to do what I did. The next, the room started to spin and everything went black. Then all I can remember is looking up and seeing a haze of faces looking down at me and that's the last thing I remember," she tried to explain. "But I'm fine now. Really, you don't have to worry about me, Garrus. After all, I did survive death once you know."

"Yes, but you had help remember?" he snorted. "I don't want to have to go through resurrecting you every two years."

"I remember. I had a lot of help with this, too. Good help – the best," she reassured him. "If I they didn't think that I was able to resume command, I wouldn't be here."

He had to admit that she had made a valid point, one that he couldn't argue with but would have to be satisfied with nonetheless. He started to relax a little, happy that she finally decided to talk him. Mentally, he made a note to personally thank Hannah. That woman was a genius! Although, one thing still nagged at him.

"What about until then?" he asked curiously, the familiar snarky twinkle returning.

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"Are you going to keep running from me like a half-brained pyjack?" he asked, half teasing, half serious.

"What? No! …wait, are you calling me half-brained?" she asked, eyes narrowing, her own spark returning.

"No, not all," he smirked, eyes challenging her all the same.

"Alright, Vakarian. It's on. Grab a stick off the wall and get your scaly ass over to the pool table. You're about to find out who's half-brained," she ordered.